Tonya Steinborn - Escaping a Doomsday Cult & Finding her True Self

From Episode 114 of the Afternoon Pint Podcast

The journey from fear to freedom is a profound transformation that few will experience as dramatically as those who have escaped religious cults. In our recent podcast episode, we had the privilege of sitting down with Tonya Steinborn, a former cult member who shared her remarkable story of growing up in a doomsday religious organization in Southern Alberta.

Imagine being a five-year-old child, sitting in a classroom, looking around at your friends and teachers, and believing that they were all destined to die in an imminent apocalypse while only you and your religious community would survive. This was Tonya's reality. From an early age, she was immersed in an environment where fear dominated every aspect of life – what to wear, what to eat, what music to listen to, and how to behave, especially as a female.

The cult's control mechanisms were particularly restrictive for women and children. Tonya described how, as a female, she wasn't allowed to pray if a man was present in the house. If she needed to pray while alone, she had to cover her head with a napkin or cloth to symbolize her submission to the male authority in the household. Physical discipline was commonplace, with children as young as four being slapped for not sitting still during lengthy religious services.

Perhaps most disturbing was the cult's approach to justice and accountability. Tonya explained that if someone was being abused, two other witnesses had to come forward before action could be taken. Cases were handled internally by the religious organization, creating a system where victims, especially women and children, were further victimized by having to confront their abusers in front of a panel of men.

Despite being raised in this restrictive environment, Tonya always felt something wasn't right. Even as a young child, she questioned the contradictory messages she received. She described lying in grass fields, feeling connected to everything around her, only to be taken into a windowless building where she was told that this was where God was worshipped – a stark contrast to the spiritual connection she felt in nature.

At 18, Tonya made the courageous decision to leave the cult. This choice meant saying goodbye to her entire community, including most of her family. Five of her six siblings remained in the cult, and she has had no communication with them for approximately 30 years. The only sibling who also left was her brother, who recently passed away.

The transition to life outside the cult wasn't easy. Tonya explained that cult survivors often struggle with poverty as they're discouraged from pursuing higher education. Additionally, their sheltered upbringing leaves them vulnerable and naive in the outside world, making them targets for exploitation. These challenges, coupled with the trauma of their past experiences, create significant obstacles to rebuilding a new life.

Despite these hardships, Tonya has forged a remarkable path for herself. She embraced her natural spiritual gifts – abilities she had to suppress during her childhood – and has become a healer, ghost hunter, and now an author. Her children's book, "Whispers from the Farm," tells her story in a way that speaks to sensitive, gifted children who might be experiencing spiritual phenomena that adults around them dismiss or fear.

The conversation with Tonya offers profound insights into cult dynamics but also speaks to broader themes of authenticity and personal freedom. When asked for one piece of advice she'd share with others, Tonya's response was simple but powerful: "Don't be scared to be weird. Just be authentically yourself... The right people will find you. You don't want people in your life that aren't going to accept you for all your weirdness."

Tonya's story is a testament to human resilience and the enduring power of authenticity. From a childhood dominated by fear and control to a life embracing spiritual connection and helping others, her journey reminds us that it's never too late to reclaim your true self and forge a path aligned with your deepest values.